The Steps Determined for Me

I am very proud of myself today, just so you know. I didn’t quite manage to climb out of bed until nearly ten, but in the last four hours I have balanced my checkbook and wrote my tithe check, sent out an important email, planned and submitted my ideas for our SSWA board meeting, straightened everything up (which, for me, also includes retrieving all my blankets and getting them back on the bed since I roll around enough to tear them off every single night!), and of course showered and dressed for the day!
Plans for the afternoon aren’t as thrilling. I want to finish ogling my vintage fashion book from the library. Happy sigh. I’m listening to the soundtrack from Beauty and the Beast (Broadway version), and I need to write five pages — that’s my goal. I also need to pay some attention to plotting a schedule for my mornings next year that leaves room for daily devotions and writing time. I usually do best when I get up the same time each day.
I’m almost done shopping I think — with the changes in my internship plans, I won’t need as many nice clothes, I hope anyways, but when you work with kids and teens it is usually a more laid-back dress style anyways. I need one good trip to Target and I should be finished, although I want to plan a really fun back-to-class outfit. Hey, unless I go to grad school, it’s my last first day of school…EVER!!! I am GOING to wear something great!
Well, it’s off to planning my next story. I think I’m going to take a break from novels for a bit, generate a few shorter stories and try to get my name out there in magazines and contests before resuming full-length work again. I do still need editors for my novel though — all interested persons welcome!
As a closing thought, I saw this verse on someone’s profile this morning, and it was a great reminder as I sit down to plan and sort out my life:
“In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps.” – Proverbs 16:9
Hopefully the controlling part of me can remember: I can will and plan what I may, but in the end my steps are determined for me, the Lord has already numbered my days.

Fit-Scheduling

Today has been a fabulous day for me, running to and fro and having a great time doing it. I started off with an extrooooardinarily long bike ride and picnic breakfast, it’s nice to feel like you’ve really earned your breakfast! I squeezed in an episode of Psych, great show by the way, then went out to lunch at Leeann Chinn – yummy!!! A dear friend and I spent a good hour and a half on the floor of a secluded corner in Barnes and Noble reading together. That, I think, is the sign of true affection for each other. Who needs spoken words when you’ve got scads of books surrounding you?
Now I’m camped out on another friends’ sofa, watching her play with the fancy features on her tv and watching her dog be ridiculous. She likes to torture her puppy, and I enjoy watching.
I’m finishing up the last touches on my schedule, and as I do so I’m realizing htat not only is their much time to study, but I don’t forsee an overabundance of sleeping or eating either! With that in mind, something the lady who teaches my bible study lessons said just brought me a smile I’d like to pass on to you:
“…and I’ve been thinking that pretty soon I’m just going to have to start scheduling some times for having a fit –you know what I mean, sometimes I just have to have one but I don’t have time so there I am, cooking lunch and sobbing my little heart out!”
Thinking of everything that’s coming my way, I might just start having to schedule some fit-time myself!

Esperanza Cafe

There are days when a large family is something of a trial. And other days, it’s the biggest blessing I know of. Kids are the best for playing with and surprising with fun things. Today, instead of just throwing together a quick lunch, I set up the family room with fake flowers, blankets on the chairs, and jazz music playing on cd, and created the Esperanza cafe, complete with menus offering three drink options, two veggie options, six fruits, three sides, and four different kinds of sandwiches. Their meals also came with a dessert tray with cookies and milk.
The girls were so cute, trying to sit up straight and talk with proper voices, and the comment cards they filled out afterwards were hilarious. They read as follows (spelling and all):

“Expliance*: I really like allof the food. We wil come again somtime soon. Thank you for the terrific lunch. Sincerily,”
*Translation: Experience

“Expliens*: 1) I like the P.B.J and the Bastels
2)The Nectorino was ok
3) The vegitels were really jummy upset the brocaly smelled like fish.
Thank you for inviting me to the resturant. I love you.”
*Translation: Experience: I like the pb and j and the pretzels. the nectarine was ok. the vegetables were really yummy except the broccoli smelled like fish.

All in all I think I have two satisfied customers — maybe someday I can run a real cafe! Now on to the next item on the fungenda: mystery beach party

Those Glorious Riches

Pop over to that marvelous site, Bible Gateway, and you will find three references to the glorious riches of God. This was the phrase I had in my heart when I sat down to write because of the riches God has been blessing me with: the amazing perfection of it all just hit me on my drive home from work today. But what are those glorious riches? When Bible Gateway hunted for the word riches it also turned up phrases such as the following — “Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God!”, “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace”, and other phrases that you will have to look up the references to, such as “the riches of His glorious inheritance”, “the incomparable riches of His grace”, and “the unsearchable riches of Christ”.
If those words don’t speak of just how much God has and is willing to give, I don’t know what ever could. I spend alot of time not feeling particularly rich, or particularly “heiress to an inheritance”-like. Frustrations in filling out multiple applications with no calls and having a difficult time controlling a spate of very strong emotions left me, as of just days ago, feeling like nothing was all that bright, and I was floundering around waiting for better times to come upon me. The Lord has come again though, shining a little light on my dark and often slow-to-understand heart — it’s one of the moments you look back at in other times, to remember the places God has brought you, and that He has always, always come through in the end.
It’s a moment when you know what it is to hold glorious riches.

Vintage Modern

I love, love LOVE vintage clothes from the 1940’s and 50’s. I think they are so beautiful, and to me it seems as thought everyone looked good in those styles! Ladies especially always got to look feminine and lovely, even when they were just poking around the house for the day. Look at these dresses: http://www.flickr.com/photos/retroredesign/3336226054/ http://www.flickr.com/photos/peldyn/3973465094/ especially with those fantastic shoes –somehow it seems like life would be more spectacular if I got to wear those kinds of things to school and work! If I could just find some cute, cheap vintage things and stir up the courage to be unique enough to wear them, I would be quite happy.
Well, now that that’s said — and hopefully accompanied by pictures, if I did it correctly, I can say I might have an excuse to wear something along those lines soon. My sisters are turning 11 this year, and we’re secretly cooking up plans to throw a party for them using an American Girl Mystery kit, and the one we’re hoping to use is Kit Kittredge. I do love grownup excuses to dress up! In fact, I may have to start planning various theme parties, just so I can wear some great clothes. I think reading Pride and Prejudice has sparked this love again. Maybe I should start a book club, so we can read selections and then dress up and have theme nights while we discuss them? What Do You Think?

Of Wishes and Signs

Oh, Sunday. What a lovely day you are. I do love Sunday. Getting up early is impossible for me without the proper motivation, but since we have to leave for church by 8:30, I can usually roust myself from sleep by about 7:15. My dad always whips up a delicious breakfast, bigger and better than our daily cereal: this morning it was scrambled eggs with tomato cooked in, and chocolate chip muffins. Now normally I don’t like eggs, and I don’t like tomatoes, but mixed in together they’re actually quite good. At church I get to spend an hour holding darling babies, feeding bottles, and tickling smiling little cherubs. The sermon is always very good and encouraging — today it was on signs and wonders. The sum of it is, yes, God can and does still do miracles. But He does them when and how He wants, not in accordance with our ideas of the right time and place, but according to His sovereign and perfect will. He also challenged us with this thought: what do we pray for? We think we pray for miracles…our mortgages, marriages, grades, jobs, illnesses. And God does care about those. But the reason He steps in and overrides all the rules of the world that He set up Himself is not for our aching backs and search for a boyfriend. It is to save His children from hell. At best we only prolong or enhance our few short days on this earth with those kind of prayers, and while they are important to us, what could be the true power of prayer if all of us prayed for true miracles?
Well, with those inspiring Sunday thoughts floating about in my brain, I have things to do. True confession: it is difficult sometimes to live with parents again once you have been away. You realize the unique habits and personality you have developed, and it’s almost like getting to know someone new. I love my parents dearly, but I am finding that I may have to stretch and grow just to fit back into the same place. There. Now that my time of admittance is over, let me carry on to much more fun things: my wish list of learning!
Item Number 1: I need to find some more books, and I’m in a literature mood. I’m hunting for poetry and great novels or essays — I’ll be starting today with Pride and Prejudice, and hope to relocate my admittedly icky copy of A Tale of Two Cities.
Item Number 2: I need to research what I need for the GRE, then just bite the bullet, pay for it, and take it. Anyone else taking it anytime soon that would like to study with me and then take it at the same time?
Item Number 3: I REALLY want to jump into some kind of creative project!! Getting back to scrapbooking would be spectacular, but quilting, knitting, making a bunch of homemade cards, or something along those lines would be cool too. Just something 🙂
Item Number 4: I want to go shopping!! I always want to, but I need to finish out a wardrobe, buy some stationary, and find a few other special things. You know how that goes.
Item Number 5: I need to get better at taking pictures places, and then being able to use them! I would especially love to learn how to start adding pictures to my posts here, just to spice things up.
Item Number 6: I need to work on after-graduation planning. I can’t say more now, but there’s a good chance that a journey to Guatemala could be in the works!
Item Number 7: If I want to be a writer, I need to stop stalling and get it done! I want to start regular writing times, and finish some editing on my second book and then see what kind of opportunities I can stir up here and there.

Well there you have it: another blurt post from the queen of the once-weekly incredibly long winded bloggers. I’ve got to hurry and change — I’ve got unpacking to do, reading to start, a letter to write, and some darling youngsters to babysit!

30 Day Challenge

Alright friends. I’m sure from many of my last posts you can tell that I focus alot on trying to find balance in life, and on trying to enjoy all the little things, because the big things are rare and far apart, and if you wait to celebrate only those life won’t have much color at all. So, since my birthday was not long ago, I wanted to find a way to encourage myself to find balance, to start the next year of my life off with improvement, and courage too, because I certainly doubt that I will succeed at this!
However, I wanted to make the 30 day challenge known to you, so that if you are brave and looking for something new, you can jump in as well. So, without further ado, here is the challenge I’ve created for myself and, just maybe, for you. Will you do it? Comment and let me know if you plan on jumping in too, we can encourage each other through it then. The challenge, for me, starts today, but feel free to start it tomorrow or Wednesday if that’s when you first hear about it. Just remember: 30 days only!

Challenge Part 1: Emotional
*Write 2 snail-mail letters of thanks or encouragement in the next 30 days
*Journal 3 days a week for 30 days
*Go to bed before midnight 2x per week for 30 days
*Choose 1 goal (1 thing you really want or place you really want to go) and begin saving money towards it. Make a solid plan to achieve your goal.
* Listen to 1 song at least 5 nights a week, doing nothing else except listening to the song.

Challenge Part 2: Spiritual
*Keep a prayer journal for 30 days
* Memorize Isaiah 53
*Read 1 chapter of Proverbs every day
*Listen to 2 sermons or talks on cd or podcast or whatever in the next 30 days
*Read Hosea once in the next 30 days

Challenge Part 3: Mental
*Read any C.S. Lewis book in the next 30 days
* Read 3 nonfiction books in the next 30 days (you may include the Lewis book if it is, in fact, nonfiction)
*Practice a skill of yours 2x a week for 30 days (for me, this is piano)
*Write down one new thing you learn each day for 30 days

Challenge Part 4: Physical
*Choose 1 unhealthy food to avoid for 30 days (for me, chips)
*Exercise 20 minutes 3x/week for 30 days
*Lift weights 5x per week
*Drink 3 glasses of water a day for 30 days
* Eat 1 veggie and 1 fruit every day for 30 days
*Floss every day for 30 days

Yep, it’s a big challenge. And you will see that in some ways this challenge is geared towards to one I wrote it for originally: me. So, if you feel like something in one of the categories just would have absolutely no benefit for you whatsoever or wouldn’t be much of a challenge, feel free to replace that item with something that will challenge you.
Good luck everyone! Let me know how it goes!

For the Shiver

Today we went on a great adventure! I was in a car for five hours.
That’s not what I thought our adventure was going to be, let me tell you! But it was not time wasted. We spent alot of time driving through the country, and I got to just stare out the window and try to soak it all in. I’m reading a book, which I highly recommend, called Rapt, which is about how people pay attention and why, and what affects their attention-paying has on their lives and relationships. It’s very intriguing, and it has made me think alot about what things I pay attention to, and it has made me try harder to pay attention to what seems to be important. So here is the result of my attempts at paying attention:
As we drive, I see the wind chasing itself through the tall corn, the golden tips mixing with dark earth, yellow-green grass and the darker green of trees to highlight the sky. The blue above is brushed with the lightest feathers of white clouds, and if you closed your eyes and felt, rather than saw, your surroundings, I’m convinced you would understand what it means that the earth is round. Here and there is a farm, a rundown homestead, a modern marvel of farm technology. This is a very strange world to me, because I love my city and it’s constant motion. I think about what the book said: that every person’s reality is different, because your reality is composed of what you pay attention to, and everyone pays attention to different things. That’s when I realize very suddenly — that is how we know what the really real things are. If every one understands things, perceives them, differently, we can never know if what we’re seeing and understanding is real or not. But when something is beyond our understanding, we know we’re not skewing it to be the way we want — when we can’t comprehend it it means that others cannot understand either… the thing is too real to twist to fit our perceptions. When you think about it almost all things that are the most important: love, freedom, faith…we don’t understand any of them. We can’t explain or even communicate them very well sometimes. And those are the most real things that are. And that is when it came — the shiver of delight I associate with the presence of God.
What have you done, or seen, or heard, that has brought you a shiver of joy? When was the last time you paused simply out of delight? How can you change what you open your eyes to… what will you do for the shiver?

Surprising Encounters

Today, I had a several interesting moments where I ran smack into a very good thought. The first one occurred as I sat in the tattoo parlor, and I realized once again how little you can see by someone’s exterior. Their outside may be pristine and their heart a cesspool of nasty, or perhaps their outside is scrawled with tattoos and poked and diveted with piercings, but their souls are whole and hearty, and running over with goodness.
The second, which has posed quite a mystery to me is this: can you describe the flavor of milk?
Slow down today. Think about what you do — what you smell, what you see, what you feel and hear and taste. Can you name it? Could you express it to someone who had never known such a thing? See if you can pay attention long enough to marshal your whole being into awareness.

Even the Weak Grow Strong

Once again the time has slipped away from me more speedily than should be possible. I think I could safely say this has been the speediest summer of my life, and I know it won’t slow down anytime soon!
A bend has come up, so fast I was halfway around it before I saw it coming. Today I got a call from my boss at my temp job, which just finished up this past Friday. She informed me that the woman I was filling in for has, due to extenuating circumstances, found it necessary to extend her maternity leave another 4-6, possibly even 8 weeks, and she asked me to come work for her for the rest of the summer. I have two reactions to this: one is joy, gratitude for the blessing of having not one, but two jobs, meaning I will have ample funds to get me through the next year, and some to set aside for another time. It’s also a huge resume-builder, and just a great all-around experience, as well as being something I happen to be pretty good at, not to boast or anything. I have to say though, another part of me was almost disappointed — it’s human, after all, to have conflicting myriad emotions at every possible event. This is really my last summer, since I graduate and will have to seek a “real job” in the spring, and I feel as though I’m not hardly going to get to enjoy it. I haven’t really caught up on sleep still from last school year, and I have yet to have more than two days put together where I don’t have to go anywhere or do anything in particular. And now, for certain, I will be relatively busy through the end of this last summer. But it is what it is, and I know I have a choice right now: will I incline my heart towards thankfulness, or selfish moaning? I think we all know which will make for a more pleasant summer.
For whatever reason, I’ve been struggling with just that lately: setting my mind on the positive, happy, blessing-filled aspects of my life rather than the negative ones. Granted my calendar informs me that part of those emotions aren’t really my fault, but mostly I know it’s my thought patterns and what I allow myself to dwell on that hold me back and can make me downright miserable. The bible study I’m doing had the perfect message this week — and what’s interesting is I didn’t do it until today, because I didn’t feel like it, and these words would have been even better if I had read them sooner. Isn’t that how it always is? What you feel like doing the least is generally what needs doing the most. Anyways, the study is a Beth Moore adventure into the book of Esther, and in particular the lesson from day one spoke to me. I am going to close with her words, letting you soak in the impact for yourself.
“Satan has a theory that he’s banked his entire accuser’s career on: Even the strong grow weak. True enough, but this, Beloved One, is also true: Even the weak grow strong if they set their minds to it. Take Joseph and Mordecai, for instance. How did they retain their stand so effectively that temptation’s battering ram could not crash through the gates of their souls? I’ll tell you what I think. Each responded out of his mind-set rather than his mood…Sometimes you and I are simply out of sorts. Hormonal. Feeling carnal. Temptations come and we either cave in because we’re in the mood to sin or we quick-draw from a mind-set that is stronger than our mood…To live some semblance of victory, I’ve had to learn to be intentional and determined about where I would “set” my mind.”

“May God be allowed to work such steadfastness of mind in you that “the bolts of your gates will be iron and bronze, and your strength will equal your days”” — Deuteronomy 33:25